Sock Puppet Theater Presents: Coco From 14 Hours Ago Is A Fucking Idiot

January 11th, 5PM

Coco from 14 Hours Ago: Oh coolies! TNA Wrestling is selling a limited edition bundle which includes two DVDs, two t-shirts, and two autographed 8×10 photos of Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle - inarguably two of the greatest in-ring performers of our generation! But Fucken A, it’ll cost me $59.95! It does say here that they expect the sets to be sold out within the next couple of days. Maybe I can sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

January 12th, 7AM

Coco from the Future: Holy shitballs! I just had the weirdest dream! I ordered the Angle-Joe bundle and then the package arrived, and before I could even sign for the release at my doorstep, I was already masturbating to how awesome it was that I fucking had 8×10 autographed photos of Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe! So the delivery guy was like “Dude, that’s sick!” And I was like “Dude, you just fucking brought me autographed photos of Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe!” And he was like “No fucking way! I so hate you right now! Can I masturbate with you, though?” And I was like “Sure!”

And now I’m up! All I have to do is find my credit card and turn on my PC! But first I have to pee

Accessing the TNA website now… Man, I can’t believe that I’ll be ge— FUCK!!! IT’S SOLD OUT! I NEED TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO CONVINCE MYSELF FROM 14 HOURS AGO TO PURCHASE IT IMMEDIATELY! WHERE’S MY DELOREAN?!

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