Sock Puppet Theater Presents: Coco From 14 Hours Ago Is A Fucking Idiot
January 20, 2007January 11th, 5PM
Coco from 14 Hours Ago: Oh coolies! TNA Wrestling is selling a limited edition bundle which includes two DVDs, two t-shirts, and two autographed 8×10 photos of Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle - inarguably two of the greatest in-ring performers of our generation! But Fucken A, it’ll cost me $59.95! It does say here that they expect the sets to be sold out within the next couple of days. Maybe I can sleep on it and decide tomorrow.
January 12th, 7AM
Coco from the Future: Holy shitballs! I just had the weirdest dream! I ordered the Angle-Joe bundle and then the package arrived, and before I could even sign for the release at my doorstep, I was already masturbating to how awesome it was that I fucking had 8×10 autographed photos of Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe! So the delivery guy was like “Dude, that’s sick!” And I was like “Dude, you just fucking brought me autographed photos of Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe!” And he was like “No fucking way! I so hate you right now! Can I masturbate with you, though?” And I was like “Sure!”
And now I’m up! All I have to do is find my credit card and turn on my PC! But first I have to pee
Accessing the TNA website now… Man, I can’t believe that I’ll be ge— FUCK!!! IT’S SOLD OUT! I NEED TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO CONVINCE MYSELF FROM 14 HOURS AGO TO PURCHASE IT IMMEDIATELY! WHERE’S MY DELOREAN?!
Coco from the Future: Do not be afraid, Coco from 14 Hours Ago! I am here to tell you that by tomorrow morning, you will have made one of the biggest mistakes of your life. You will live in unending regret, and all it will cost you to avoid weeping in public every time that you are reminded of this incident is a mere fifty-nine do—
Coco from 14 Hours Ago: NO.
Coco from the Future: Excuse me?
Coco from 14 Hours Ago: I said “No.”
Coco from the Future: WHY?!?
Coco from 14 Hours Ago: Because I am cheap and stupid and I am an indecisive fuck. I will never amount to anything because I am a coward who only asks women out once I’ve found out beforehand that they kind of like me too and I took a job with the family business because I’m a lazy piece of shit who hates going to other job interviews because the last time I went to one I was given a lengthy lecture by a complete stranger in going out of one's comfort zone and basically I SUCK AT LIFE.
Coco from the Future: Dude, chill. All you have to do is key-in our cred—
Coco from 14 Hours Ago: NO!!! FUCK YOU!!! AND FUCK THE WORLD!!!
Previous Comments
Unfathomably disturbingly retarded! I’m loving it, Coco!
Posted by Steel at January 21, 2007, 11:15 pmAnyone else notice the “Eternal Sunshine…” reference? No one? Okie dokie!
Posted by coco at January 22, 2007, 7:40 amI really don’t know what to feel after reading this
Posted by Mikey at January 23, 2007, 12:49 amI did! Do I get a steaming cleaveland?
Posted by ade at January 23, 2007, 1:32 amYes you will! Although I think I got the colors interchanged; Kate Winslet from the future had the blue hair. I think.
Posted by coco at January 23, 2007, 8:08 amDoesn’t matter. Just give me the steamer!
Posted by ade at January 25, 2007, 3:23 amAdd a comment
Coco, you know we’re proud that you now have your own blog and all but man you’re one twisted sumbish.
Posted by Squid at January 21, 2007, 5:05 am