Coco’s Week of BirthdYAY Parties! (May 12)
May 17, 2007*NOTE TO MY TWO LOYAL READERS (AKA MOM AND RICO YAN): Some of the "comedic" material in this post were borrowed from the last two entries I made, because I ran out of the funnies. So, sorry. I guess.
May 12, 2007 began with me taking a dump half asleep and hung over from a drinking session I had with my high school friends the night before. But I had to get myself together, I had my nephew’s birthday party at Shakey’s to go to that afternoon, as well as what seemed to be a regular night out with The Bim and some other college friends.
Birthday banner! Shake and bake! Fidel Castro Rabbit DJ saying “Kepyas ng Bata” (“A Child’s Vagina”)! Really mature! (Tarp courtesy of Joms, who unfortunately couldn’t make it. I hope the sex was worth it, ass.)
I’ll skip the less important details, like how Bim got me to bring an extra set of clothes and carry buttloads of liquor to the 7th floor of the Discovery Suites in Ortigas. Alls I know is when we knocked on the door of Room 706, someone shouted “Lights out!” (cough Ade cough), and my initial curiosity was confirmed that something was up.
SURPRISE! I make my entrance.
By the way, that was one of the few photos that Pau was in. Some of the attendees decided that a certain, minimal amount of gayness was to be met for that night and we just had to send him home a little early. Sorry, fag.
The functional food was courtesy of the lovely Ms. Anne, who in the above-placed photo shows off her best “I’m a great cook! Also, this is one of the few times you’ll actually get to see me smile, because I hate most things that are fun and I love Satan. And check out my nifty hotel flip-flops.” pose.
Anyway, here be some more photos yarr:
The ladies love Bim. (From left: Jen, Peachie, and Cheska) 
Poker with Mikey, Adam, Fritz, Coco, and Bim. 
Here are some photos that we took of Steel, Squid, and Baddie, respectively. 
The new TMB Poker champion, Fritz, “observing” the Japanese boobie cards. 
Mikey, as he spearheads our plans to kidnap a Chinese tycoon’s daughter for ransom. You know, to cover our expenses and shit.
No more brandy. 
As the alcohol dwindled, so did much of the activity. Ade, Mikey and Jen took naps while the rest of us kept ourselves busy by downing the last of four Red Horse Grande bottles (there were three more in my car), and by talking about romance and work and how special children aren’t really that special, because some of them can’t even walk and shit.
DJ Innovator when it comes to scratch. Washy ma some. Washy ma some.
I honestly couldn’t have wished for a better night, because for starters, I don’t believe in tomfoolery such as wishes and hope and women’s rights. But if I did, my birthday wish would have been for assloads of money, and ringside seats to every TNA Wrestling Pay-Per-View until I die. Also, world peace. But mostly money. And wrestling tickets. But a surprise birthday party from my TMB friends is just as good.
Jen, the Sexy Nomad was awesome enough to conjure up an equally awesome video that pretty much sums up the party. So this article was a complete waste of time. But you read it anyway, and I love you. Make out with me?
There’s tons of other stuff over at the hidden forums, including photos that show even more people in robes, Mikey touching his National Geographic-worthy areolas, and Bim being the subject of a game called “Spot the Nipple,” among others. There’s also a video of me slapping on the Sharpshooter and the Boston Crab on Bim floating around there somewhere. But you’ll need at least 100 decent posts on the main boards to gain access to those, so there.
