Coco Whines For A Bit.

August 10, 2007

It's Friday night and I'm taking a breather from rearranging my DVD collection. So I'm going online to whine about the recent not-so-fortunate goings-on in my life. I AM SUCH A NERD.

Most of the shit (shit-shit, not stuff-shit) that's been happening to me for the past month has to do with my car. But before I get to that, I also recently realized I had no name for my not-so-trusty (Later, I said!) automobile. We're a Mitsubishi family, and at one point, we had three Lancers in our garage. We referred to each by calling them by their paint job. I called my old car "Blue," because it was, um, blue.

 YOU MY BOY, BLUE! YOU MY BOY!

Aaanyway. We sold Blue back in 2005, and I was car-less for about a half a year. Then my folks got me the car that I'm driving now, another Lancer with a Sedona Red paint job. But my sister also drove a red Lancer, so we simply referred to her car as "Rianne's," and mine as "Coco's." But yeah, I was asked if I had a name for my car, seeing as how most guys have names for their toys, and I got to thinking for an actual name for this car here. I'm thinking either "Fernando" or "Whore." I vote for both.

Again, aaanyway. A month ago, my car's battery died on me at the basement parking of Greenbelt 2. A couple of guards and an awesome foreigner helped me out and gave me a jump, but it was still pretty stressful. We had to drive home to fucking Las Piñas with the windows down and on low beams. Then a couple of weeks ago, I got ticketed for blocking the INVISIBLE pedestrian lane on the corner of Paseo and Makati Ave. with my car. I presented my case civilly, but that shit never works. So I pointed out a guy who was doing the same thing, and the copper goes "Wag po tayong mag-turo, Ser. Isang arresting officer lang po per violation." To which I would have loved to reply: "EH GAGO KA PALA EH BAKIT TATLO KAYONG NAKAPALIBOT SA KIN?" Instead, I just gave them the most ridiculous grin I could come up with. The ticket cost 500 bucks, by the way.

Earlier this week, one of its tires went flat. Good thing I wasn't the one driving it; the family driver was on his way to pick my sister up from school. And On Tuesday morning, some asshole tricycle cut me on the way to South Super/Buendia from Pasay, so Fernando/Whore has a giant gash on the left side of his/her front bumper. The trike driver kept saying sorry, but I wasn't even looking at him. I just knew that he was going to give the whole "Mahirap lang po ako, wala po akong pambayad, lagi pong makati yung bird ko tapos ang pinangkakamot ko eh yung kepyas ng asawa ko kaya madami kaming anak" speech, so I didn't even bother arguing.

There. And oh, I got a haircut this week. And I look like a fucken lesbian.

BUTCH-TASTIC!