Coco’s Top Five of 2005! Wait— Dammit!
December 27, 2007So here’s a list of my favorite articles for the year that was two thousand and seven.
1. Sock Puppet Theater Presents: Coco From 14 Hours Ago Is A Fucking Idiot.
This, of course, was the birth of a series that I’m particularly proud of, since it boasts my undeniable talent in drawing socks committing murder and suicide (with only the use of a mouse) on MSPaint.
2. Coco’s Surprise BirthdYAY Party!
I had as much fun writing about this amazing party as I did being there. Not only was I able to spend one of the best birthdays ever with TMB folk, I also got to call Pau a fag and poke fun at special children while coming up with this article. Good deal!
I hate being Johnny O’Braggy (WHAT), but considering the success of this series, I would just like for everyone to acknowledge the fact that this was kind of my brainchild. Also, I have an IQ of 142, a car, a DVD and CD collection running up to the thousands in units, a gargantuan penis, and I shit 8 pounds of gold every other Friday.
4. Sock Puppet Theater Presents: Congratulations Graduates! Eat My Asshole!
Although CF14HAIAFI comes after CG!EMA! in the Man Blog chronology, I originally posted this as my second Sock Puppet Theater article on my i.ph blog. I like to refer to the animation here as Sock Puppet 2.0, as you may notice that my creations have evolved from mere gun-toting two-dimensional entities to gasoline-chugging and cliff-diving albeit still two-dimensional beings. Behold!
5. My Experience at the Man Blog Alcohol Extravaganza.
Everything else I wrote this year was pretty meh so I’m putting the last entry I made for the year 2006 as my number five (with a bullet). It chronicles the first major celebraganza held by TMB. There were mostly dudes; it was borderline depressing.
Coco Had Really Awesome Shit to Listen to Back In College.
December 26, 2007That title/statement had to be presented (Happy, Fritz?), seeing as how one would find my current taste to be questionable, with Justin Timberlake, Mika, The Click Five, and Jay-Z occasionally popping up in my last.fm's recently played list. But I found myself some time over the holidays to fix my shit and I ended up scouring my old comps for musical gems that I may have neglected to transfer to my PC for archiving, for one reason or another, over the years.
But before I post any of these nuggets, I would also just like to convey to everyone that I've recently picked up the habit of showering with the bathroom door swung open. The door to my room's locked while I do this, of course. I've been doing it so I could listen to my music while bathing, which is, um, really fun, apparently. I apologize for pouring a bucket of creep juice on your otherwise lovely day. (That "creep juice" line was courtesy of Jaime Pressly, by the way.)
Anyway, onto the music.
Step Into My Office, Baby (Belle & Sebastian, 2003). One of the funnest songs EVER! Too bad I don't have the money to collect all 87 of their albums. Mkay, so they don't really have 87 albums, but it's still a lot.
We need to talk
Step into my office, baby
I want to give you the job
A chance of overtime
Say, my place at nine?
Talk to Me, Dance With Me (Hot Hot Heat, 2002). They're Canadian. I don't know what else to say. Oh, wait. Rick Moranis is Canadian. Yep, that's about it.
Sister Savior (The Rapture, 2003). I rarely got to track 9 when I constantly listened to their "Echoes" album years ago, and it was only recently that I discovered that I had a new favorite Rapture song of all time (!). Check out the 1:43 mark. Insane, yeah?
To Be Young (Ryan Adams, 2003). So his "Heartbreaker" album was released in 2000, but I only found out about this song in 2003, after hearing it during the opening credits of Old School.
Anyway, that's it for now. I'm leaving for some really late Christmas shopping in Makati.
This Time I’ll Get It Right.
December 21, 2007First and foremost, I would just like to say that I smell spaghetti, and that that makes me the happiest I've been in ages. Actually I smell tomato sauce, and the househelp could be making anything tomato-based other than spaghetti. If that's the case, I swear someone will die by my doing.
Oh and I finally have some money. Huzzah! I go Christmas shopping in Alabang tomorrow afternoon. Tell me if you got me something so I could get you a gift as well.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask if anyone here knew how to play the piano and would be willing to teach me. Said volunteer will be generously compensated with backrubs and/or meatballs. See, learning to play an instrument was one of the things I intended to do when I unveiled my three-step plan of getting my shit together. It's the one that could pose a difficulty, monetarily.
I never really got around to doing anything on my list until life decided to give me more lemons, so now I'm off to start my own goddamned lemonade conglomerate. Obviously, the first step in doing so is to learn to play the piano. DUH. Another motivation was hearing this new song by Motion City Soundtrack (someone has to get me this CD by the way, because I'm a bum and I won't buy it for myself). It's called "Last Night," and I've been dreaming to rock out with my cock out by busting this and Jack's Mannequin's "Meet Me At My Window" on the piano in front (and to the delight) of my immediate family, select friends, Mandy Moore, and Alex Trebek.
It reminds me of The Cure's "Close to Me." Notice the organ hums during the verses on "Last Night." Familiar, eh? The notes don't seem that far apart between the two songs, as well. MCS's is just faster. Of course, I could be totally wrong and am making a complete fool of myself.
Again, anyway. That is all. I just wanted to know if anyone would teach me the piano for just compensation (meatballs don't grow on trees, you know), and to shamelessly beg for a Motion City Soundtrack CD.
UPDATE: Adobo pala yung niluluto nila, hindi spaghetti. Wow. Ang layo. TANGINANG BUHAY TO.
Sock Puppet Theater Presents: Bim and Coco From Four Years Ago Were Really Mature.
December 19, 2007Coco: So I was browsing through Bim’s LJ archives a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I look only through the entries that mention my name. I do it for self-validation, to make sure that Bim loves me as much as I love him. Like a brother, that is. A brother that I’d want to have sex with.
Bim: What?
Coco: What?
Bim: A brother that you’d want to have what with?
Coco: I said, “A brother that I’d want to go to the movies with, especially on weekdays when there aren’t that many people.”
Bim: Oh. Okay. That makes total sense.
Coco: You should, like, have your ears checked or something. Anyway, I stumbled upon this entry from way back in mid-2004. We were a few months away from graduation, and you wrote about how we talked about the most mature topics. And all of these occurred within one school day. So I decided to Sock Puppetize it.
Bim: Right. Ooh I distinctly remember this one. We were in your car, and we were listening to some mellow music. (Coco’s the blue one, because he likes the color blue. I’m the orange-ish one, because my scrotum appears orange-ish during the summer, which is my third most favorite season of the year.)
Bim: We always sat in front during our classes, but for some reason, we opted to sit at the back that particular day. I couldn’t hear what the professor was saying, so I asked Coco for some help.
Bim: The Pistons were also playing the Lakers in an NBA Finals game that day. Coco and I decided to bet on it. I bet for the Pistons, and if I win, he’d have to give me his left testicle. And if I lose, I’d have to give him mine.
Bim: Pistons won.
Coco: So yeah, Bim still has rightful ownership of my left nut (whose name is Jorge). A few days later, I went all-in and wagered the right one (Brennan). The winner would be the one who could correctly predict who dies first: Paul McCartney or Ringo Starr. Silly Bim says that Ringo’d kick the bucket earlier. The guy sports a mohawk to this day, man. You’re goin’ down, McCartney’s goin’ down, and Jorge’s comin’ home.
