We Got Tickets, Bitches (A Wrestlemania 24 Predictions Post)

Bim: With the biggest show on Earth looming just around the corner, Coco and I decided to make out a little with each other, and then post our predictions for Wrestlemania 24, which will be held at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida. Why should we do it? Well, it’s because we’ve nothing better to do and we like to force our opinions down your throats.

Wrestlemania 24!

JackTV is having a showing at the Glorietta Cinemas, at 7PM on March 31st. The event may be an invite-only thing, but I’m sure you can catch other showings at Megamall or other SM malls. If you can’t, just ask the ones getting tickets (THAT’D BE US) if the show was awesome or more awesome than normal.

Here be our predictions!

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TMB Side Projects.

As some of you may already know, Bim and I were recently tasked by The Mordo to handle two new blogs: Comicology and Cinemabuzz!, respectively. Obviously, the former is comics-centric, while the latter deals with midgets in bikinis. Bim and I terribly needing the cheddar for our heroin addiction notwithstanding, we both really love comics and midgets in bikinis, so it wasn’t that difficult for us to accept the interweb overlord’s offer.

Overwhelmed with jealousy, the rest of the Man Blog editors set out to conceive their own side projects; their “B-sites,” if you will. And they were kind enough to have me take a gander at the material they have so far.

First up is Fritz, whose primary blog has the following URL: fritzified.com. Wanting to cash in on the “-fied” suffix that he claims to have popularized (just play along), he decided to come up with a series of blogs which feature the “-fying” of things. So far, Fritz has one site in the works, and it’s called SISQOFIED! (www.sisqofied.com). And in a TMB exclusive, we’re giving you a sneak peek at what will comprise his first four posts:

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Best Week Ever! Exclamation Point!

Well, relatively. I mean, I could count a vacation overseas or seven days’ worth of sex and wrestling (I’ve had both) as what would indeed comprise my best week ever. But considering the many bummers I’ve had over a looong period of time, things are finally starting to pick up again. So, surprise! This is a whine-free entry.

For starters, I went out on my first date on Saturday since God knows when. Well it wasn’t really a date, since we were with Tintin’s new officemates having a buffet at Kamay-Kainan and karaoke-ing at Red Box, and I really didn’t pay for anything except for gas. But it was my first time at Trinoma and I had an amazing time. So amazing, in fact, that I’m thinking of changing that to "amazing-tastic!" Tintin and I then saw Jumper and I took her home at around 2:30AM. I headed straight for Bobby’s and drank and laughed my balls off with beer and BJ jokes, respectively.

That’s John, in our new porno, "May Mani Ka Sa Labi" (Russian title: "You Have A Penots On Your Lip"). Blame Marc, dude. No wait, blame yourself for sleeping on us again.

Last Friday, I found out that my sister was pregnant. Again, happy times. I honestly can not wait to get peed and puked on by the new addition to the family. But seriously, I’m really, really excited about this. New baby!

And on Thursday, I officially escaped debt’s sinister grip. Yes, "debt." I kinda broke Tintin’s 40 thousand peso DSLR camera after our Christmas party. Well I didn’t really break it, but it just stopped functioning after I last held it. And living by the old adage of "LAST TOUCH KA, GAGO," I volunteered and insisted on covering the repair expenses. Long story short, she called up the camera company last Thursday and they said that they were able to chalk everything up to the warranty, after initially saying that I needed to pay 10 grand for the repair.

So there. Dates and babies and beer and BJ jokes and being out of debt do comprise the best week ever. To quote the Nacho:

L’pimpage Majeure!

I’m writing this from my Dad’s PC, because after 12 years of handling and taking care of about a half a dozen PCs (whether at work or at home), for the first time ever, one of them decided to crash on me and now I can’t get it to work. And it’s my very own (I call him "Christopher Corncob"). He’s six years old and I swear this is the first time he gave out on me, and I just feel real shitty right now. Anybody know any people who do home repair service on PCs here in Las Piñas, and who’d take massages and bottomless servings of iced tea as compensation?

Anyway, it would be really cool if you guys could somehow work the link of my new blog into your into your own sidebars. Peter approached me and asked if I could take care of the site, and I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity. It’s called CINEMABUZZ! and as you can see, it’s movie-centric and is updated more often than this one. I write as Coquito Von Tito, and anyone who can tell me as to how I came up with the name gets a prize. A PRIZE OF NOTHING!

But seriously, if you know how I got the name, I will make out with you. WITH MY LIPS OF NOTHING!

Although I have to be honest, having to tend that blog means that I won’t be able to churn articles for TMB as much as I’d like to, and that really, really breaks my balls. I promise to at least come up with something TMB-related once a month, though.

But ultimately, Coco needs the cheddar, so I would really appreciate it if you guys would drop by the site and post a comment or two every now and then. Also, Bim has been tasked to take up on a similar endeavor, you might want to check that out as well. Click here for COMICOLOGY!

Fuck, I’m Bored. Also, Check Out Cinemabuzz.

Peter tapped me to take care of a movie blog over at i.ph, and I implore you to visit CINEMABUZZ. More on this in a future post here at Man Overboard.

For the meantime, here be snippets of a conversation I had with Papu yesterday.

ON FLO RIDA’S "LOW".

Papu: anong title nung pukinang inang song na
Papu: apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur?
Coco: Low
Papu: hate that fucking song
Papu: we went to this party last friday. hindi ko alam after party pala ni neyo. so he was there.
Papu: eh malay ko naman no. hindi naman siya cute.
Coco: Ooh party
Papu: tapos pinatugtog pa yang putanginang Low nayan. i hate that.
Coco: Haha o easy. It’s just a song. I actually have it on my playlist.

ON RIHANNA AND BRITNEY.

Papu: and that Rihanna
Papu: i dont like her so much
Papu: and Yeg keeps playing that stupid song Please Dont Stop the Music
Coco: I used to have a mini-crush on Rihanna until Tintin told me that she looked like Ethel Booba.
Coco: Which she does.
Coco: I have that on my playlist, too.
Papu: stupid rihanna.
Papu: she actually giggled when Britney performed at the VMA’s
Papu: who does she fucking think she is?!??!
Papu: and i dont get why she’s cultural ambassador of barbados. wtf. anong culture dun. grrrr.
Coco: Why in the hell wouldn’t anyone giggle? I’m surprised no one burst out laughing and started throwing their seats at Britney.
Papu: ASSWIPE!!!! thou shalt not take the name of britney in vain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coco: You have got to be kidding me. The woman’s lost her damn mind and so have you. If you value what’s left of your dignity, you should maybe start convincing yourself that it might have been a good idea to get off the Britney bandwagon when she shaved her head and attacked a car with an umbrella.
Papu: well i have hope that she’s gonna come back
Papu: the old, clean britney
Papu: stupid girl should not have broken up with JT. see what happened. it was bad karma.
Coco: Don’t count on a Britney comeback. The odds of her choking to death on a pair of scissors are higher than her ever regaining any of her old success.

 ON MILEY CYRUS AND HORSE PORN.

Papu: what is it with these disney girls. vanessa hudgens (na, for the record, tuwang tuwa si yeg na slut pala), hilary duff. ay nako. i bet ganyan din si miley cyrus.
Papu: she has slutty photos narin, did you see?!
Coco: No, I haven’t. How slutty? Provocative outfit-slutty? Or horse porn-slutty?
Papu: ummm
Papu: beginner slutty
Coco: Damnit.
Papu: wait il find the link
Papu: wala namang nakita, pero she was in a tank top and panties and her tits were poking through. she was in bed.
Coco: Great, underaged pokies are exactly what I need. I’ve been looking forward to going to jail for the longest time.

ON MANDY MOORE.

Papu: speaking of which do you watch how i met your mother?
Coco: I used to, and I want to, I just don’t find the time.
Coco: Mandy Moore’s in it for a couple of episodes. (swoons)
Papu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Papu: are you watching her concert? tangina mahal okay. 2500 for eastwood?!
Coco: I would if I had the money.
Papu: tsk
Papu: il let you know if i get free tickets
Papu: a client could sponsor the damn thing
Coco: Wohoo!

ON BEATING EACH OTHER TO DEATH OVER AN INCRIMINATING PHOTO OF US AS DANCING PARTNERS IN THE 5TH GRADE.

Papu: DO NOT POST THAT PHOTO.
Papu: that was pre hair straigtening. post that photo and suffer the consequences
Coco: What consequences might those be?
Papu: il beat you up. seriously. or papapagripo kita.
Coco: What in the hell is a pagripo?
Papu: gripuhan
Papu: sasaksakin ka para tumulo dugo parang gripo
Coco: You can’t take me.
Papu: i can take anyone.
Coco: I’ll just push your forehead with one arm.
Coco: And read a book with the other.
Papu: il kick you in the nuts and break your nose.
Coco: I’ll punch you in the neck and stab you in the fallopian tubes with a pen.