TMB Band Discography!

March 4, 2008

Fourth Album: Self Titled Debut Album (2008)

Track listing:

1. Wow! Your Penis Is HUGE! written by Mikey 2:49
2. It Burns When I Pee: Should I Go Have It Checked Or Should I Just Wing It? And By “Wing It” I Mean “Punch My Crotch Until My Urethra Turns Numb.” written by Coco 3:12
3. Do the Polio Dance! written by Bim and Fritz 26:31
4. Don’t Say You Love Me, Girl (If You’re Not Willing to Do Anal) written by Peter 4:00
5. Ready… Set… OVARIAN CANCER! written by Pau 3:36
6. Knock Knock. Who’s There? Herpes. Herpes Who? I Have Herpes. written by Ade 0:10
7. Pope John Paul II Kinda Looks Like a Turtle (I’m Just Saying) written by Coco 2:56
8. So You’re Confined In A Wheelchair… Tell Us More! written by Bim and Fritz 2:45
9. Warm Dubai Nights (The Masturbation Song) written by Steel 3:02
10. It’ll Be Our Little Secret (The Mutual Masturbation Song) written by Ade and Baddie 2:36

Members:

• Mikey “Whistles” Villar (Whistle)
• Peter “Pedro” Juan (Maracas)
• Pau “The Destructor” Araos (Tambourine)
• Fritz “Four Fingers” Tentativa (Keyboards)
• Coco “Mr. Muscles” Collantes (Muscles)
• Steel “Jim” Ventus (Sax)
• Ade “Balls” Magnaye (Xylophone)
• Baddie “Greg” Carteciano (Two sticks and a can)
• Bim “Burlesque” Barbieto (Hula hoop)

Pau did most of the work so you can read the rest of the entry here. And here.

The Science of Sleep. Also, I’m Emotionally Retarded.

March 1, 2008

So I saw Michel Gondry’s The Science of Sleep (La Science des rêves, for all the Frenchies in the house) sometime last week. I finished it at around 3 AM, and what do you know? I had the second most rigoddamndiculous dream of my life after watching the film. And for posterity’s sake, I had my number 1 most rigoddamndiculous dream when I was 5 years old, and it involved me walking around an old and actual Filipino film company’s studio lot, being whisked off my feet by a freak gust of wind, falling into a running stream/canal, and drowning to death while one of my old yayas just stood by and did nothing.

Moving on. In my post-Science of Sleep dream, I was twelve years old, and I had just won an online contest where I and two other kids would be able to spend a day with AJ Styles from TNA Wrestling, which is stupid because neither TNA nor the internet existed when I was twelve years old (at least in Coco’s Little Twelve Year-Old Universe, they didn’t). So we met up with AJ at a mall somewhere in the States, and I obviously squealed and immediately grabbed him by the arm. Like a little pansy girl. We went around the mall for a bit and we got into a van; AJ rode shotgun while us three kids sat in the back.

All of a sudden, it’s twelve years later and the person riding shotgun is an American woman, who apparently is my "boss," and the two people seated beside me, my "co-workers." And we’re in Singapore. We approach a huge-ass five star hotel and this woman-boss person exclaims: "Hey, isn’t that your friend who just got married?" I see Kitkat walking along the sidewalk. She’s in the States in real life, and she did get married last weekend, but I had this dream before that. I jump out of the van, we hug and exchange pleasantries, and she accompanies me while me and my "co-workers" set out to do what we were supposed to be doing at the hotel.

I shit you not, our job was to inspect the grass gnomes displayed at the hotel parking lot. Then I wake up.

Anyway, I just felt like writing that down. Also, I never realized how badly I hated the smell of our printer’s ink refills until now. It’s sad having to still run stupid errands for the family business on a Friday night. If anyone reading this is a person of faith, pray that I get that call and get a new job soon. I mean it. I really want to start making more money and save up.

Lastly, I know I’m running the risk of contradicting my Succeeding-Sentence-Writing-Self by saying this, but there’s only so much a person who’s kept his mouth shut about most things pretty much his entire life can take, because he’s the type who doesn’t like being vilified, nor does he take pleasure in doing the same to others (to people he knows, at least). Anyway, I just find it unbelievable how some people gravely undermine my intelligence and maturity. I mean, look how smart and mature I am:

Okay, so I guess it should come as no surprise that I’m often referred to as an emotional retard. I’m looking at you, Paps.

To anyone who got this far into this useless and asinine post, this’ll be the last time you’ll be reading anything similar to the content written in the two previous paragraphs. In all honesty, I’m in a really good mood right now, and I’m just moseying on along, like I’ve always done. I’m going to Tagaytay tomorrow; that should be fun. No, not just fun, but Tagaytastic!

Wow, I’m stupid.