The People In My Neighborhood
August 16, 2010
I found this nice, hole-in-the wall barber shop in our village which is probably the best thing to happen to me since summer (Seriously, it is.). It’s got two chairs but only one barber, it has decent air conditioning, and it’s even next to a Miggy’s so I can conveniently grab a cheesedog on the way home.
The barber’s not bad either. He looks like he just got out of prison but he’s all coño like: “So anong haircut natin today, Sir? What’s your name nga again, Sir?” But he doesn’t engage in small talk, which I really like. In the three times I visited his fine establishment, the only thing he’s ever said to me other than the usual salutations and the aforementioned questions was the time he asked me which color Eye-Mo he should get because his eyes dry up on occasion.
When he cuts my hair, it seems like he doesn’t know what he’s doing for the most part. He’d trim off a portion of my bangs then start razoring my nape. And then he’d go back to the bangs. But I’m not complaining since I like the results that that he’s produced so far. Plus he only charges fifty bucks and I tip him another fifty because that’s how I roll.
I’ve also been frequenting Ruins at Parañaque lately because my shitty-ass 4G connection isn’t torrent-friendly, so I rely on the local DVD pirate folk for some TV and movie booty. Speaking of which, you know one thing that sucks about being single? Not having a shameless and legitimate excuse to ask my favorite DVD pirate lady if she has the latest cycle of America’s Next Top Model in stock.
If I tell her it’s for one of my sisters, I imagine she’d be like: “I know your sisters, and they don’t watch that crap, you sad-sack lonely, girlfriend-less girly boy. Why don’t you hit on more parking lot cashier ladies you shit-eating loser. Yeah, I’ve read your tweets. Now here’s your DVD, so beat it before you infect me with your lonely sad-sackitis and I end up slitting my wrists right here.” She then erupts into boisterous, lap-slapping, downright insulting laughter. In slow motion.
And if I ask anywhere else and say that it’s for a lady companion, I’d be lying.
Anyway, if anyone has ANTM, and seasons 2 and 3 of Breaking Bad, hit me up. I shall pay you in sex dollars.
