Coco’s BirthdYAY 2008 - TMB Greetings!

So I turned 24 last Friday, which means that I’m one year closer to celebrating my 25th birthday.

And what’ll happen when I turn 25? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. BECAUSE MY LIFE IS A BOWLFUL OF FAILURE AND HEARTACHE AND LIES AND BROKEN PROMISES.

But then again, I have awesome friends who drink beer with me. And some, particularly the ones from The Man Blog, even go through the trouble of making me virutal gifts, like, say, a mustachioed rice cocker, courtesy of Pau:

Steel gave me The Undertaker’s prom picture, just because.

My brother from another mother, Bim, made the most intricate gift: mustachioed, half-naked blink-182 at the beach, with Darth Vader, a reel of film, and a bunny with a pancake on its head.

(MORE GREETINGS UNDER THE CUT!)

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Room Photos; DVD and CD Collection; Gay-Ass Curtains.

I recently renovated the room and I just wanted to have the changes documented. One thing led to another, and I ended up taking pictures of my stupid wrestling toys and my stupid CDs, which you can read about here and here.

Anyway, this is my third room in 10 months. I have a dozen movie posters which I would like to put up but it seems that we might be moving places later in the year so the room appears to be empty, wall-ishly speaking. Also, I may come off as douchey and braggadocious in this entry (I picked that up from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode) but really, this is my only hobby.

I just felt the need to pre-defend myself because in this age of rampant piracy, I get "Wow, original pala mga DVD mo, pare. Supot ka no?" (Wow, all your DVDs are original, dude. Are you uncircumcised?) a lot.

And like I said, I don’t really spend on anything else. I’ve never bought a cellphone my entire life, either I get them for free or they’re hand-me-downs. I’ve had the same computer for the last 6 years (256MB RAM for the win), I don’t own an iPod, and showering isn’t a daily habit for me because I’m conservative on water like that.

Anyway, this used to be my little sister’s room, and these are the only curtains that fit. Mismatched, gay-ass curtains. Fucking life, I tells you.

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Biggest Waste of Time and A Forty Thousand Peso DSLR Camera Ever: Urban Wrestling With Coco’s Favorite CDs (Nos. 6 to 1)

The digital debauchery continues with my six most beloved albums of all time. (Previously: Nos. 12-7)

Also, in case you’re wondering, and you probably aren’t, but I’ll say it anyway, a lot of these albums are from the early to mid-2000s. My interest in music peaked when I was in college, hence the abundance of titles on this list which were released in that period, and my lack of a sex life.

#6: Andrew W.K. "I Get Wet"

And here he is getting a big boot from Lance Hoyt. I first heard material from Mr. W.K. on the soundtrack of Jackass: The Movie, and from "We Want Fun" alone, I knew that I needed to hear more. I don’t generally enjoy going to places where loud music is played, as it hinders my concentration on getting stone-drunk. But if there’s one album that should be played in its entirety at any party, it’s this one. Also, the intro to "Ready to Die" was my message alert tone for at least two years.

It’s Time to Party (Andrew W.K.)

#5: Tenacious D "Tenacious D"

Back in late 2001, I was going through a really tough breakup, and I distinctly remember conveying the news to my Mom on the phone while she and my Dad were in the States. She did the typical Mom stuff like saying that it was going to be alright, that I was young, that there’s plenty of other fish in the sea, etc. I got all choked up but the next 29 words to come out of her mouth immediately brought a smile to my face:

Oo nga pala, I bought you that Planet of the Apes DVD na. Pati yung CD na may dalawang naka-hubad na mama at demonyo sa cover anubato (By the way, I bought you that Planet of the Apes DVD already. And that CD with the two naked guys and a devil man on the cover whatisthisshit) -Coco’s Mom, October 2001

Of course, I still tumbled towards unparalleled depression for the next 18 months, but the one CD that helped me get through the sad times would have to be the debut from Tenacious Fucking D. Also, that’s Samoa Joe creeping up for the Coquina Clutch.

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Biggest Waste of Time and A Forty Thousand Peso DSLR Camera Ever: Urban Wrestling With Coco’s Favorite CDs (Nos. 12 to 7)

Remember Tintin’s DSLR camera which I almost broke before? Well we finally got it back from being repaired a month ago; we even got to bring it to the beach. But we really haven’t been going out as much as we want to and it would be such a waste to find no use for the camera. So I asked her to bring it to my place last weekend since I recently renovated my room (my third room in 10 months), and I wanted to have the changes documented. Fair enough.

Although, I also had the dumb idea to have pictures of my favorite CDs taken next to some of my pose-able wrestling figures. Guess what Coco decided to write about first.

Twelve CDs. Twelve goofy-ass wrestling poses. The asininity is LEGENDARY. Here we go:

#12: The Detroit Cobras "Seven Easy Pieces"

Okay, so it’s only a seven-song EP, but I wanted an excuse to make it seem as if WCW Chris Jericho were motorboating this naked woman (Is this Rachel Nagy? Can anyone confirm? Wikipedia isn’t being wiki-wiki-helpful). All cleavage-guzzling-related talk aside, this EP spawned "99 and A Half Just Won’t Do," and I don’t care if they made armpit noises for the rest of CD, that song alone warrants this album a place on my list. Also, boobies.

99 and a Half Just Won’t Do (The Detroit Cobras)

#11: Death From Above 1979 "You’re A Woman I’m A Machine"

It’s a shame that I don’t have the money to buy this band’s remixes CD. It’s an even bigger shame that this band is no longer around. It would have been the biggest shame if I didn’t take a picture of WCW Ric Flair about to drop a forearm smash onto this CD. Good thing I avoided said shame by having a girlfriend that pretty much does every damned thing I ask her to. Like taking stupid photos of stupid toys and stupid CDs. YOU HEAR THAT, WOMAN?! GET ME SOME GRAPES!

Black History Month (Death From Above 1979)

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Putting the "OK" Back In "rOcK!!!" (I Totally Forced It, Didn’t I?)

Do you enjoy having friends? Does your idea of fun not involve things like colon cancer or beheadings? Do you like LIFE?

If you answered "YES" to all these questions, then you should do yourself a solid and show up at The Man Blog’s first ever Banana Gangbang Rock Festival on May 3rd, 2008, at the Bela Bar in Greenhills.

Here be a map to the place.

The night will feature music from bands of TMB stalwarts/sexy beasts Mike Villar, Ade Magnaye, Lauren Dado, and Marco Palinar. There will also be lots and lots of fucking and blowjobs and tits and balls and shit.

The tickets are set at a hundred bucks, and are consumable.

So be there, or be a total loser and miss out on the great music and the ass-tons of fucking and and blowjobs and tits and balls and shit.

Kudos to Baddie for the awesome poster.